four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
