Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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