I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
