I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
