just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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