These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
