Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
