he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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