it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize