She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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