bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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