FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
