Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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