apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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