Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
