she looked like the before picture.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
