the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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