Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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