I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
