I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize