You're completely useless in the revolution.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Small penises have feelings too.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
