I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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