I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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