But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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