3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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