My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
