how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
