Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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