Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
COCAINE IS GR8
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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