I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize