North Korea, Best Korea!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
