Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
