she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
