My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
