based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize