so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
