i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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