im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
