just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
