I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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