Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
