I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
4 words: hood of his car
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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