I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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