no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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