things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
