hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize