would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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