There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
