Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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