You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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