Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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