Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
