so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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