It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
