okay pat passed out under dana's car
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
