WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
