I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
