Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
