I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i believe in u and ur pee
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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