The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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