i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
