Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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