I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
