i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
