atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
