You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
