Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize