Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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