I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
