Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
