And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
